I'm drowning you see...

I’m trying to breathe
I swear I am
but them waves keep on catching me

pushing me further and further into the deep end
and I got no fight left in me
I’d be better off drowning
letting the tide come rushing in 
throat tightening up.
the air left in my lungs is slim to none.
and I think I just might die in this suffocating space.
I can't breathe
water clouding my vision
now I can't see—
maybe–
maybe this is it for me–
I’m tired of fighting against this tide
maybe I oughta let go of this here life boat and–
let die–
I’m tired of all this suffering 
I don't think I’m as strong as God says I am
So many dreams met with so many obstacles
I think I oughta just give up on them
let this wave take me under
deep
deep into the ocean floor
maybe then I’ll find some peace
won’t be stuck in this matrix no more
Can't go back the old way
and this new path seems just as hard
what's the point of all these gifts
if this world gon keep me scarred
There are times I wish art wasn't my passion
but creativity knows me too well
I think the day I was born
God's hands casts a spell
and so I sit here drowning
wanting out of this life I've been given
but God won't take me yet
for he says I must walk the path of this ascension
and so I guess giving up is too easy
ending my own self too cowardice
I guess I’ll just suffer through
though it's hard to breathe
hard to catch my breath.

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Welcome to Last Day of my two-week poetry series. I will be going on a 2-week venture of writing exercises to get my creative spirit in flow, which allows me to dive deeper into how I write--yes--but also, will help me dive deeper into my wisdom and insights from the universe. So--follow along this journey if you desire, and comment below the insights you may receive from these pieces.