Loss of Innocence

 I find it interesting really...

how tears come at the oddest of times.

Was just smiling about the good in my day 

now all of a sudden tears are streaming down my face

I didn't know how much I had lingering in my mind

forced to be strong all my life yet these waves still overflow on the inside

My God remove the heavy load

cleanse my mind and purify my soul

for I did not know

that was no way for a flower to grow..

My God cleanse my eyes

from the terrors I have seen

for the little girl in me

oh she's begging 

begging on her knees to be freed

for I did not know my up from my down

nor my left from my right

for I did not know the scars my parents carried would echo through me

this unholy sight

for they do not know what they do

I've tried to convince myself time again

but I just cannot shake the feeling

of how they'd so willingly cause so much pain

and so these tears continue swelling in my eyes

I'm now quickly approaching 25

overburdened at such a young age

I've learned to bleed in silence yet still survive

shattered heart 

and loss of innocence 

silent screams 

and no one to witness it

at 13 I wanted to die

and often times still fantasize

but the God in me just won't allow what was done to make me end my life

and so 

I sing and I clap and I stomp and I praise

Hoping that one day

Maybe one day

All these dark memories will fade away

lessons learned while I'm still fresh in my youth

no longer burdened by what was done

but walking in truth

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Welcome to Day 6 of my two-week poetry series. I will be going on a 2-week venture of writing exercises to get my creative spirit in flow, which allows me to dive deeper into how I write--yes--but also, will help me dive deeper into my wisdom and insights from the universe. So--follow along this journey if you desire, and comment below the insights you may receive from these pieces.